Remembering . . .
Last week I had an email from an old friend whose name is Mary Buchanan. It was actually God who introduced us. He gave Mary a burden to pray for Michael and me before I had ever met her. More recently we have reconnected via Facebook and it turns out Mary is still praying for me! I can’t tell you how much that blesses me! She will be coming to the Wellspring Conference this year (I can hardly wait to hug her!) and has been praying for everyone connected with it. Do you notice a theme here? Yes, Mary is an intercessor! If you tell Mary about ANYTHING, the first thing she will say is, “Let’s pray about it.” And when Mary prays, she expects to also hear from God. For her, prayer is a two-way street! So God has spoken to her the following instruction for us and I post it here to give you a chance to respond.
I was reading in Judges 6 when an angel came to Gideon at the time the Lord spoke to him to rise up as a man of valor. The angel called Gideon to go into battle. What stood out to me, is that Gideon set up a memorial to the Lord before he ever went into the battle. He set up an altar because he was so blessed that God would send His angel to someone as lowly as himself and call him to do great exploits. God revealed Himself to Gideon as “God is peace” so that is what Gideon named the altar he established.
I believe that the Lord wants our sisters, as they prepare their hearts for the Wellspring Conference, to set a memorial in their hearts for all the times God has revealed Himself to them in the midst of great trial and challenge. I saw a vision of a woman trying to close a door on her past. There was a foot in the door that would not budge. The woman was fighting against it, trying to push the foot away and close the door. Here is what the Lord showed me: there are sisters out there who have had emotional healing and are determined to leave their past behind, but the Lord has His foot in the door to their past. It is the Lord Who wants them to remember those days — not the pain, the loss or disappointment, but the very Presence of the Holy Spirit which sustained them and delivered them. God wants then to always remember the sweet revelation of who Jesus is that came when they ran to the secret place in a time of desperation.
There are some who will not speak of the past — some because of the pain, but others because they don’t want to blend the past with the present. I recently had a word for a friend who was widowed long ago. She doesn’t speak of those early years of love and sweetness, but she has a testimony that is amazing. The Lord wanted me to tell her that He gives her permission to remember because He was good to her in those days of loss and grief. He was good to her in the gift of that relationship with her first husband and the memory is to be a memorial to her of just how much she is loved now and forever.
I also believe there will be a sister (or two) at the conference who had a beautiful relationship with her dad as a little girl. Over the course of time, something happened to her dad (maybe the trauma of war or an illness, I’m not sure). Her dad’s love for her was no longer communicated due to bitterness or distress, and it caused her great pain. She has chosen to close her heart to the early, pleasant memories and has decided to just be content that her Heavenly Father loves her perfectly. But the Lord wants her to remember those early years, because they really are a gift to her that will convince her of God’s love in a deeper way. The Lord is going to fill her with mirth and laughter as she remembers the fun times and the devotion her father showed her in those early childhood days. This is her reality, and God does not want her to lose it. The enemy wants her to believe that she has been rejected, but it is a lie.
So, in a practical sense, I have often been given songs from the Lord in the midst of difficult trials. Now, when I sing the songs, I don’t remember the pain, but the amazing-ness of God and His wonderful presence. In a similar way, I have a painting my mom did long ago that is a memorial to God’s strength during domestic violence in my marriage. I would worship and meditate on the images in that picture of peaceful mountains and refreshing rivers and the Lord would speak to me in a deep way. Now when folks compliment me on the painting, I don’t just tell them my mom did the art work, but I testify of the goodness of God in my life in a time of desperation. The painting, like the songs God gave me, came at a time of deep pain in my life, but now they are a memorial to God’s faithfulness and love.
Others may plant a dogwood tree when a loved one dies or make a quilt when there is a miscarriage, not to keep the pain alive or invite self pity, but to remember how the hand of God gently and lovingly lifted them up from despair and gave them a call to be victorious because He is peace.
There is a rest the Holy Spirit wants to bring our sisters who are struggling to forget the past. When they stop resisting the past and embrace it as the tapestry of their lives, they will wrap themselves in the warmth of His understanding and love and invite others to find warmth there too. Everything that has happened to them has contributed to their being who they are today. Remembering the past faithfulness of God will cause their faith and confidence for today’s trials to increase. And when they share the testimony with others then that increase in faith and confidence becomes contageous.
I am praying for the retreat. I will be praying for the Lord to have His way and to just give courage to our sisters so that His name and renown would be known!
If you have a testimony that you would like to share as a memorial to the goodness of God in your life, please use the comments space below to tell us what the Lord has done for you.
Thank you so much for sharing everyone! The Lord's amazing love is endless!
Thank you so much for sharing everyone! The Lord's amazing love is endless!
Marie, I know a little bit of your story and you are right, God has rescued you and put in a place of healing and blessing. This poem is a beautiful praise to Him and a memorial to His watch-care over you. Thanks so much for sharing.
It is so good to see your comments back again, by the way. I'm glad your computer is well again!
To Remember
As time passes by
I am reminded to remember
What all the Lord has done for me
It seems like only yesterday
That I accepted Jesus into my heart
But that has been twent-one years ago now
I was but nine years old and afraid of many things
The Lord has brought me through so many things
He brought me out of an abusive home and placed me with loving parents
He has shown me where He was in all my early memories
He saw the wounds in my heart and replaced them with His love and grace
He has given me a husband for which we have been married seven years
God continues to bring blessings into my life
Friends, family and a niece to cherish and pray for
I bless the Lord for all He continues to do in me and those around me
Bless the Lord oh, my soul
And all that is within me bless His holy name.
I'm just sitting here bawling reading all of this! Mary's word is truly from the heart of God. It's gonna be a great conference!!!
Seven years ago our fourth grandchild was born, a precious little boy whom his parents named Ethan Ebenezer. Ethan means strong and Ebenezer means “stone of remembrance.” We were thrilled to greet him, but were not allowed to hold him because he was not breathing well. By the next day the doctors had determined that he had a major abnormality in his heart and circulatory system. He was taken quickly to Chapel Hill where he had his first open heart surgery. Over the next 3 years he had three more open heart surgeries, one of them involving a trip to Boston. We were all traumatized by these events, especially his parents. It was hard to see our precious little one going through such suffering. But we also saw many, many miracles take place in Ethan Ebenezer's life during that time. There is not space here to list them all, but from his cesarean delivery (he could not have survived a vaginal delivery!) to the pneumonia he had last winter, we all know that EE is with us because God has preserved him! We see that it was God Who gave his parents his name. Ethan Ebenezer is strong with a strength that God supplies and his life is a constant reminder of the all-sufficiency of our God. Rather than the pain and suffering, it is the faithfulness of almighty God that we remember when we see him. Ethan Ebenezer Cotten is definitely a memorial stone to the glory of God for the Cotten family!
I remember a defining moment long ago when my husband was alive. We had maybe three very young children at the time, and we were involved in a discipling ministry at Fort Bragg. We would have planning/staff meetings once a month or so and one was planned, but it was planned for 8:00pm. Since our children were small and we lived in Raeford at that time, I couldn't come but had to be at home to put my kids to bed. My feelings were hurt by this because I felt that my being there wasn't important and I wasn't valued. I tried to talk with my husband about my feelings, but as wonderful as he was, he really didn't get it
So I went to bed pouting and woke up still resentful and angry at my friends for forgetting me. 
And had custom-made wisdom! It was just the beginning of many such exchanges. Oh how I've depended upon His wisdom!
So I said out loud to the Lord “What am I supposed to do?” ” I know my friends didn't mean to leave me out but I can't shut off my hurt feelings?” Immediately I heard two things from the Lord. The first was “Do you have anything to contribute to the meeting? Anything on your heart?” Um, no I didn't. Second was “Don't you think that if I needed you to be at the meeting I could cause it to be scheduled at a better time?” Yes I did! He also told me that if I need to be home putting my kids to bed then that's exactly where he wanted me to be. My hurt feelings dissapated completely and I was fine with it. That was a defining moment in my relationship with God. He cared about my little hurt feelings!