I thought having 3 babies had taught me to let go of my dignity when it was necessary for survival. I thought going through menopause had taught me the value of finding humor in ANYTHING. What I learned from those experiences was beneficial, to be sure, but those lessons moved to an all new level this past week when I had a colonoscopy. 

It is only marginally helpful to know that everyone in the US who is over 60 is having to get this highly (read on) invasive test. In fact, the hidden message in my doctor’s saying, “everyone your age must get one” is “YOU CAN’T COMPLAIN!” I hate that!

I had my test done at 7:30 AM this past Wednesday, in Cary. They said to be there at 6:45. Cary is about an hour’s drive from my house. So we were up at 5:15, on the way by 5:45. EARLY! But, of course, the worst part was the evening before. Michael had had his colonoscopy about a year ago so I knew a little about what to expect. But it is one thing to watch and another thing completely to experience it first hand! (It’s good for Mikey that he did not smirk at all as I was running, running, running Tuesday evening!)

The good part is that this test does prevent colon cancer, which used to be the number one cancer killer in the US. The doc uses a lighted scope to view the INSIDE of your colon. He removes any polyps he finds. Did you know that all colon cancer begins from a polyp, though not all polyps become cancer? He found a minuscule polyp in my colon and removed it. Hooray.

I was asleep during the entire procedure so I felt nothing. I was awake only to turn on my right side and be aware of the nurse exposing the appropriate part of my anatomy — the last thing I remember. When I woke up, the doctor came by to proudly give me the PICTURES he had taken of the inside of my colon. (I will not post them on the website!) Can you believe it? PICTURES!

As I listened to the doc describe in detail what he had observed of my innards, I could not help but be reminded of that old gospel song refrain about King David, “I’ll become even more undignified than this!”

Ah, the indignities of life . . .